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Told you. Best in the city. But still not as good as 2015 Philly.

[He licks at the inside of his mouth when Ramse doubts him, his face pure really.]

Unless they were hiring you to do manual labor. what do they care? Just saying it, that means they're thinking about your hands. Touching. Strong hands mean a firm grip. You can't make it not sexual.

[ Alright, Cole, he gets it. Hmm. He finishes off another bite before answering, brow furrowed. ]

I might have to do something about that.

Not your type?

[He's somewhere on the line between teasing and genuinely curious now, almost concerned. Ramse got damn serious when it clicked, and now he's wondering what the situation is. Not just pruriently, either.]

It's more that I don't think she has any idea what our life is like, what I'm really like.

[ The flirting was light and fun and he doesn't really want that to end, and if she's serious he'd be interested but. In a lot of ways she's just a kid. ]

[Oh. That is serious. The kind of divide in those situations can definitely be felt, sometimes to an offensive level, whether they mean it or not. There's a reason most of Cole's closer friendships and relationships have sprung from that exact point of common experience.]

You don't wanna scare her.

[Because he's not scary. Ramse is the opposite of scary. But if she's lived one of those beautifully normal lives, he could look like a monster, and that'd hit him hard. It hits Cole hard, and he's much closer than Ramse will ever be.]

[ He thinks that just seeing the amount of old wounds his clothes conceal would be a wake up call for her. Cole gets a nod; it's not even anything he'd do on purpose, but people like them have an intensity that can frighten people who don't understand it. ]

I don't. Right now I'm obviously not.

[ It hasn't even hit him yet, because he hasn't run into anyone who'd think so, that he could be seen as a monster for doing what he had to, to survive. ]

[It's an extremely odd sight: Cole pushing food around his plate, not shovelling it into his mouth. This went down dark roads, ones he's already travelled here, and he's got no idea how to shine a guiding light for Ramse to make it any easier.]

I dunno what to tell you, man. I've told a coupla people about the West VII, but not - Quinn, or Rachel. The ones I knew might be able to get it, or at least handle it. No one's gonna get our shit completely without living it.

[But what he did with the West VII is worse than anything Ramse could dredge up. And if this is any comfort:]

They're both still around. The ones I told.

I haven't told anyone that kinda stuff. It doesn't feel like the place for it, and it's not what I'm having the hardest time dealing with anyway.

[ He takes another bite, gesturing for Cole to eat too. before it gets cold, man. ]

Anybody I know?

[ He'd like a heads up for who knows about them, honestly. ]

[If only he knew he was flashing Ramse the sad otter eyes at that. Because of course he knows what Ramse's having the hardest time with, and it's something they've gone over but can never quite get to closure.]

Jem. She's a survivor too, she had to - do bad shit too. I just wanted to give her some perspective. And Sheva.

[Surely he won't mind Sheva knowing. And really, all he told was about himself. Ramse was painted as the hero.]

[ Oh are those the sad otter eyes? Because he notices them but personally wouldn't think otter. He just looks back at his plate. ]

Haven't run into her yet. Sheva, though... [ And he gets that fond look again -- it's not for the general tso's on his plate. He looks back up at Cole, changing the subject. ]

Do you think it's too soon now to actually ask her out?

[Ah, that look. It makes him want to bring back the playful ribbing of earlier, but he should probably check in if Ramse's asking this question.]

How seriously are you asking her out? Should I get out of the picture now?

[ Hold up. Ramse thought it wasn't like that. He puts his fork down and reaches for his glass of water but doesn't lift it yet, just pulls it close like something to hold on to. ]

...since when were you in that particular picture?

Since - you didn't know? Shit.

[Why did he assume Sheva would bring it up? This is the kind of thing bros should probably touch base on personally. Shiiiit, he feels like sinking right through the floor.]

Since me and Cassie talked about what we were gonna do here. Neither of us wants to do anything exclusive, 'cause it's not how the city works and it won't get us what we really need. We'll do that when we're back home.

Oh my god, man, I thought you knew. [He leans over the table, scrubbing his hand over his face.]

[ He does take a drink, then, to help fight the dropping feeling in his stomach. Not that anybody here's exclusive or should be, with how the city works, but he really likes her. He did mean ask her out that seriously, if it wasn't too soon. He's been holding off with her in general because of the warning from Cole. ]

So after you told me it wasn't gonna be like that. Okay.

[ Nope. Noooooope. ]

Not cool, bro.

I know, I know, it - happened, and it kept happening, and I always figured -

[Like he could read minds. Now he feels sick from just a few bites, which is another brand new thing for him.]

- I messed up, really bad. I'm sorry, Ramse, I'm seriously sorry. You know I'm not gonna get in your way on this one, though, if you two are that close - it's way better for both of you.

You figured..?

[ He holds up a hand, shaking his head. It doesn't matter. ] It's not about getting in my way. I don't want to be responsible for keeping you apart that way, either, it shouldn't be my decision. I was just holding off on... everything.

[ He's telling the truth, he doesn't want to keep them apart in any way if that's where things have gone. But he's not going to be able to be with someone Cole currently is, either. Too weird. ]

It's not mine either. It's neither of ours.

[That's the big thing here. If he tries to bow out like the better man and it's not what she wants, he's no better than Arthur.]

We gotta go to her together. Let her say what she's thinking to both of us.

...you're right.

[ Ramse rubs at his face. He hasn't even actually asked her out yet, so he has a feeling of the way things are going to go. But he doesn't like the idea of bowing out either. Why do things have to be difficult?! ]

This is going to be the most awkward conversation on the planet.

Yeah, you're telling me. But I'm not doing anything I think she wants without hearing it straight from her, and it's better if we're both there.

[After a moment, he starts rubbing at his face too. Holy shit, and he thought it got easier with Cassie's arrival.]

So awkward.

What do we even say? Asking for any kind of choice makes us dicks and you know it.

[ How do they approach this kind of thing? ]

We just -

[Holy crap, what do they do?]

- we don't make it a choice. We just ask her what she wants. Out of the whole situation. Then it's up to us.

She might not even know there is a situation. But okay, we ask. Then it's up to us to what? Make a choice or a compromise or something.

I'm not comfortable with it. Maybe I should be the one to just... [ Suck it up? Back off? What? ]

Just give up on her? No. That's worse. Me and Sheva have always been friends first, Ramse, it's not gonna be an issue. We had a big buildup of things we needed to say and do and we did it. If you're serious about her - that's more important.

[All of the food on his plate is mixed together now, sauces mingling into unappealing colours. And he still can't stand the thought of eating it.]

She means a lot to me. But none of it's what she means to you, and she could want that more.

I wouldn't give up on her. I don't give up on anyone... we're still friends first too, it's just the rest I'd try to avoid. [ With extreme difficulty if previous encounters have bearing. ]

[ He's just not willing to risk screwing up what she and Cole have. At all. It's ridiculously complicated and disrespectful to try and quantify their feelings for measure. For someone else's measure, which was worth more. Ramse sighs ]

Or maybe it'll turn out we're cool with it.

[ Shut up, wall of noooooooope in his head. ]

There's no need for that. We'll talk.

[In fact, he's made up his mind.]

Call her now. There's enough for her too. Just say... we've got something to settle.

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nostraightlines - 2015-09-05 03:12 (UTC) - Expand